A Good [Town] is Hard to Find

Looking for a place to call home is an awful lot like looking for a husband. After dating around quite a bit, and we're pretty sure we've found a keeper.

See, first there was Utah. He was fantastic with kids, a real family guy. But we were young and inexperienced, and his hairline was already receding. Besides, that was when Connecticut came along. And let me tell you, he was a looker. Each and every time we went out, there he was with the green eyes and the rock-solid . . . rocks. But looks can only get you so far, right? So the next time around, it was someone with a little more street-cred. Philadelphia had connections everywhere--hooked us up with all the right people and took us all the right places. But when it came right down to it, he was a little too vulgar, a bit too crass. So then we met Cincinnati: love at first sight. He was hot in the summer, cool in the winter, friendly, and all about the old-fashioned family values. To be honest, it sort of broke our hearts when he sent us packing. Regina was our rebound man--two parts country, one part exotic foreigner. He had a lot going for him--friendly, plenty of money, and he really knew how to take care of someone if they got sick. But ultimately he was a bit too far off the beaten path and besides, he would get really cold and nasty when he was mad (which let's be honest, was 9 months out of the year).

It took some looking to find someone we could really settle down with--we had a list and everything. But I think it's a love-match this time. I admit, his name sounds a little redneck. But he makes up for it with everything else. Here's a run-down of a bunch of stuff we love about Fort Wayne!

1. Beautiful--fall has been amazing, and it's been going on forever, which is just how I love it: blue skies, crimson and orange and gold leaves, and that delicious smell that I just can't get enough of.

2. Fantastic weather--admittedly, we moved here just as summer was cooling off, so we've had a stretch of really nice days, but there's such a perfect mix of sun, cool, and rain--love it!

3. Families--tons of them, many with more kids than us even. Our neighborhood is teeming with children close in age to ours. At their bus stop alone, I think about twelve get on . . . and the bus stops almost every block! Not to mention cool events like the Johnny Appleseed Festival we attended!

4. Sporty--we loved the TinCaps baseball game we made it to before the end of the season. The stadium was awesome, and the tickets were only $10 each (plus $1 hot dogs)! There are also good programs at the YMCA, and there are great walking and biking trails all through our neighborhood.

5. Friendly--we totally moved back to this part of the country because we love midwestern friendliness.

6. Schools--despite a few initial bumps, I feel confident that our kids will receive an excellent education and plenty of attention from their teachers here. I especially appreciate all the time and attention given to art and music at their school--I know it's not like that everywhere!

7. Affordability--I love feeding my family for less (plus, the produce tastes waaay better), decorating my home without spending a fortune, getting a pizza without feeling extravagant, and especially getting a beautiful home for a good price!

8. Arts--this is a great community for the arts! The symphony event we attended was fantastic, the hall amazing (especially for a city of this size), and I can't get enough of the classical public radio station that plays something I adore every couple of hours. We haven't even checked everything out yet!

9. Proximity to places--how amazing to have Indianapolis, Chicago, Detroit, and Cincinnati all within a three hour drive! And a day trip will get us to NYC, Philadelphia, Washington D.C., Nashville, Atlanta . . . so many places! After Saskatchewan, that seems amazing.

10. We're American again--We've loved living internationally (even just barely), and I hope we do it agains someday. But America is the greatest country in the world--we missed her! And Obama? Definitely worth coming back for.

This Vagabond Life

We're going to be spoiled.

Next month, when we move into our new digs, we're going to enjoy a lot of perks. It's a nice house. It even has a pond out back.

We have our kids enrolled in a good school (even if it already annoys me a little sometimes). We'll be within walking distance of that school. Our ward has lots of nice families in it. This city has lots of nice families in it. There are tons of trees that are just changing color, and the sight of them against a crisp blue sky is breathtaking. Sometimes I will be just standing at a gas station pumping gas, or loading Sera into a cart to go grocery shopping, and I'll see other people hurrying in or out or just walking by and I sort of want to scream "hey there! Did you notice that you live in a really beautiful place? And also did you know that people are super-nice here? Because it's not like that everywhere. You're really, really lucky!" But I restrain myself--I have a feeling I might scare someone.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to scream those words at myself from time to time. Because we've been living out of suitcases for four months now.

We've been eating off of child-size plastic plates and trying not to use up our 12 unpacked cups too quickly each day. Emerson and Asher have been sharing the same twin bed, toe to toe. Addy gets her own twin bed only on the nights Sera doesn't climb out of the too-small pack-n-play and join her. Aaron and I couldn't fit our box springs up the staircase, so we're sleeping on a mattress on the floor. It has an actual sheet on it now (thank you Target clearance), but there were a series of nights where it was just the mattress pad and our comforter. There's a reasonably comfortable office chair in our bedroom (which I'm sitting on now), and a rocking chair in the living room--that's it for cushioned places to sit. The kids' idea of household fun involves climbing up and jumping off the stacked up boxes in our "living room," many of which may or may not contain breakable items.

If it can't be prepared using one skillet, one saucepan, a cookie sheet, and an oven, we don't eat it--we can't remember the last time we ate a dinner at home that didn't have the word "helper" on the box.

And you know what? Some days, it all gets old.

But this is all okay with me (mostly). Because I'm a big believer in the reasonable fairness of the universe. If I ever get too happy or too satisfied with where my life is, I grit my teeth and get ready--it's pretty much guaranteed that something tough is hurtling toward me. Right now I feel like we're serving some time, "stocking up" on hard times so we can sort of "earn" what's coming. It's my way of making peace with the universe.

It's a season of simple things, of driving to and from school three times a day (kindergarten does that), doing laundry, keeping the floors reasonably clear of clutter, making and eating meals that are unlikely to win any awards for culinary excellence but which do a fine job of keeping us healthy. Sera and I walked this morning from the front door of our little town-home over to the laundry room in the building. The air was crisp with fall, the leaves above us in every color from green to gold, orange to flaming red. A squirrel in the grass saw us coming, then ran up the trunk of a towering maple tree. We laughed at the cute fellow, and at the little sparrows that were "playing tag" according to Sera, as we lugged one basket and two bags of laundry. It was good to hear Sera's squeals and giggles as she played her own little game of "hide and seek" between the washing machines as I folded clothes and watched the leaves fluttering down outside the window. A laundry room that does so many loads of laundry every week smells good. I noticed how I now fold each pair of pants twice for Asher and Addy, only once for Emerson and Sera. When did that happen? Sometimes Asher's shirts need and extra fold too, before they become a neat little package that I can stack up and return to his closet--it's only the really baggy ones though, so I feel safe for now. I love the smile on Sera's face when she helps me carry the laundry detergent, or when she carefully unloads each little item of clothing from one of the washers or dryers to the basket. She's big enough to be a real help now--she, my baby! After school, the bigger kids gather around our little table, the one that barely fits in the corner of our tiny kitchen, and do their homework. It was hard at first--after three years of school in French and rarely having homework--but they're rising to the occasion. Addy is working on her spelling and reading. I love to see the ways she spells words: tnkeg for thinking or thay for they. She's making fast progress though, now that everything is in English, and I love seeing her holed up in her bed at night before anyone else, reading by the light of the hallway light, since her room doesn't have a lamp or anything. Asher is coming along, too. He's having to overcome some poor study habits--I make him rewrite his assignments in his assignment notebook if his handwriting is too sloppy, and he redoes all the math problems he misses on his homework and tests--but he is making big strides. He's been proud of all the A+ papers he's been able to bring home over the last couple of weeks, as he's gotten the hang of keeping track of his papers, turning them in on time, and making things legible. I'm impressed with the attention my kids get from their teachers--nothing slides by without notice, and I'm grateful for the little notes home or emails I get about them . . . and even more grateful that the frequency of the notes is decreasing now! In the evenings, they come up with simple things to do on the sidewalk and grass-patch in front of our apartment; picking dandelions, scratching in the dirt with rocks and bark, batting around tennis balls with one racket and a foam sword--a little creative thinking never hurt anyone.

Sometimes a season of simplicity makes all the difference. I can't wait to unwrap each of my dishes and put it away. Getting cold water from a refrigerator water-dispenser is going to seem like absolute luxury. Before long, we'll have a real piano again. And not sharing a bedroom wall with children--can it get better than that? But there is a different kind of luxury here--the luxury of working together, making things work, not having to worry about making it to swimming lessons or soccer practice or anywhere but school and home, home and school. And when we're all moved in and secure and grounded and permanent(ish), as I've been longing for for so long, I hope I'll look back and remember this transition time as a really good time too--a time of adventure and love and learning and growth. A little bit of the refiner's fire here and there can only make us glow more brightly and shine more beautifully, right?

Happy Birthday Addy!

Seven things we love about Addy at seven:
1. Addy is so flexible, which is a huge help in this moving process. She's willing to share her bed with Sera whenever Sera is upset, and if there's a change in plans, she's the first to get excited and embrace it.
2. Addy makes friends faster than anyone I know. She's quick with a smile, and already has a handful of good buddies in her class. I'm pretty sure that her friendliness is helping Asher make friends as well.
3. Addy is patient with others and patient with herself. She has the determination to work at something until she gets it right, and she'll encourage others to do their best too.
4. I love that I can ask Addy to remember something for me, and she will. She's also good at reminding others to lock doors and bring the things they need for whatever outing we're going on.
5. Addy has excellent self-control. Unlike certain other of our children (who can't resist raiding the cookie jar or refrigerator when they know there are treats in the vicinity), Addy will turn down goodies when she feels like she's had enough, and as I've been going sugar-free this month, she's often volunteered to do a day or two sugar-free alongside me. I had nowhere near that kind of restraint at her age!
6. Addy puts her artistic skills to good use in making notes and cards for me (other people too, but especially me). They usually feature the two of us together, sometimes Sera, and occasionally the boys too. There is an apology in there if she's gotten in trouble, but most of the time, they just say those beautiful words: "I love you mommy!"
7. Her hair! I love having a little girl with gorgeous golden hair! Even though she usually just wants to stash it behind her head in an elastic, or let it hang unbrushed, when she does let me at it, I love to braid it or curl it or tie it up in ribbons. Aaron is ready to cut it short again (she does look cute with short hair), we've decided to let it grow at least through the winter, and I'm thrilled to be her hairdresser!

From the High to the Low to the End of the Show

After we arrived in our new city, the show really got on the road! We had called the schools in advance to make sure our kids would be okay starting and got the go-ahead. Even though school started on Monday and we had a tentative idea of where we wanted our kids to start, I decided to browse the schools a bit before making a firm decision. I figured that had to be one of the benefits of arriving late--the chance to make an informed decision by actually visiting the schools and some classrooms. We had nailed down a school district already (based in no small part on the fact that classes started at 9 am in this district, as opposed to 7:50 in the other well-regarded district--yikes!), but online research just can't substitute for being there. In fact, after visiting a three schools, we ended up choosing a different school than the one that had stood out online--we opted against the school with a gifted program and a 10 rating, for a school with only an 8 rating but a more child-friendly layout, more diversity among the students, and a really cute school bell on top. It doesn't hurt that it's also close enough to the freeway to make Aaron's commute short and sweet.

So we went in to the district office to register. And discovered that they had decided that after all our short-term apartment a block and a half outside the district would not work for registering in the district (there were absolutely no 3-bedroom apartments in complexes in the district and they most definitely had promised it wouldn't be a problem). Ugh. I blame the overzealous secretary at the cute school-bell school (because I like blaming other people for my problems--so what?). So after a bit of poking around, we discovered that the hotel we were staying at the first few days in town actually was in the district (such a blessing!). So we registered with that address and prolonged our stay. Fortunately we were getting an amazing room rate there for a double queen room with a sofa-bed, because a colleague of Aaron's at the University had a connection there. I didn't really complain--I mean, what mother of four doesn't want maid service?

So finally, on the first day of the second week of school, our kids had their first day. How many people have first day of school photos outside a hotel? How many people have the very awesome hotel staff offering them extra apples to take to their teachers? Oh, and there was a really wonderful hot breakfast bar at the hotel as well, so the kids started each day with a much better meal then they would ever have at home.

This went on for roughly two weeks, and was wonderful almost all the time. There were the two nights in the row that were a complete gong show, where I thought for sure that any second would bring a phone call or a knock on our door telling us to leave or shut the *heck* up because the kids were practicing gymnastics moves on the beds and dressers and screeching and paying absolutely no attention to me and my pleas for just the teeniest little bit of calm. Seriously, there are times when two hands are just not enough to manage four kids. Bums were spanked to tune of raucously disrespectful laughter and well, it was one of those trophy bad-mom moments (and by moments I mean four hours a night). But other than that . . . it was quite lovely.

So, while the kids were busy adjusting to their new classrooms (which happened with varying degrees of success, which we'll get to later), Sera and I played her new favorite game: "follow the white car," otherwise known as trek around town with a realtor. We looked at probably 30 different houses, plus another 10 in different areas, but we really could have just stopped after #2, because that's the one we decided on. It's a fairly modest two-story with a finished basement, but it has pretty much all the little luxuries I hoped for in a house: newish, kids' bedrooms upstairs, master on main with a master bath with a jetted tub, vaulted living room ceiling, a front room that's probably supposed to be a formal dining room but which we'll use as a music room, close to kids' schools, kid-friendly neighborhood with a short commute for Aaron, plenty of space in the basement, and my favorite--backs up on a cute little pond! All that plus new carpet and paint that we like already taken care of--yay! Of course the best part is really that we get so much more for so much less money here.

So back to school. Trying to make sure the kids had a couple of cute new outifits and backpacks that were filled with all the right school supplies (plus maybe a couple of extra goodies) all while living out of suitcases, was definitely a bigger challenge than most other years. But we made it! My camera ran out of batteries when I was trying to get a picture of the kids at school with the school bell behind them, but almost everything else went pretty smoothly. First the good: Addy has had good teachers thus far in her school experience, but she hadn't had that "one" yet who just got her and who she fell in love with and who made learning her absolute favorite adventure. She got her this year. Mrs. P could not be a better match. From the first day we toured the school and Addy met her in the hall it was all sunshine and rainbows. Addy has been working hard, learning a lot, and finally reading like there's no tomorrow (she's been reading for a long time obviously, but has been sort of hot-and-cold with it until this year). Hooray for Mrs. P! Second, the boot camp: Theo (or Asher--his middle name--as he's decided to try going by for now) got the perfect teacher this year. He just doesn't realize it yet. Last year, Madame Leask warned him that if he didn't work on organization and responsibility, he'd pay for it later. She helped him a ton, and really gave him the tools he needed to succeed. Well, it turns out that later is now. Ms. S is not about to settle for second best from him (if you'd like a visual picture to go with Ms. S, Sue Sylvester from Glee comes to mind). Which means that he came home with a variety of papers marked up with letters ranging from C+ to F the first few weeks of school. Ooooh, he wasn't happy. But he's slowly been adjusting to the new requirements, and has even eked out an A+ or two. With any luck, the good habits will continue, and maybe he'll even start implementing them at home! And finally, the question mark: in brief, there is only one half-day class of kindergarten at our new school, and Emerson's teacher, Mrs. H, would not have been my pick if there had been more to choose from. On the plus side, he's in class with three other children from our new church and has already moved up to BFF status with one of them. His first week was a bit of a struggle, and I was surprised when his teacher stopped me to tell me that he had some real behavior struggles the first few days. I was torn between sadness and annoyance at not having someone who really jumped in to help a child who had just come through an international move and was starting school a week late for the first time and needed to feel like someone was on his side. Despite the sometimes rough transition, though, we're really proud of Emerson for trying hard to make good choices and to do his best every day. Mrs. H really does have some cute stuff going on in her classroom, and I hope that things will smooth out as the year goes on.

(Emerson and Sera were thrilled to pieces when I took them for Happy Meals after Emer's first day of kindergarten--they've had them maybe once before.)

As for the rest of the month, in some ways it has been like an extended vacation . . . and in other ways it's been like an extended circus act. We've gotten creative with mealtimes, ranging from boxed dinners cooked in a hotel microwave to way too much Taco Bell to lots and lots and lots of fruit, which tastes so much better here (it's not Saskatchewan's fault, necessarily, but the multi-day train rides required for virtually all produce does not lead to exceptional texture or sweetness--we've been eating the stuff here like candy). During the spaces between school and work and sleep, we've been filling in with shopping for everything from sofas to spaghettios. We're making the transition now to the smoky-smelling little apartment that we'll be renting for the next few weeks while waiting for our house to close, and while I'm going to miss the maid-service and the fancy bathroom and the glorious mattresses (they're so soft that I made Aaron call and ask what kind they are), we're all definitely ready for a little more space (private space especially) and a real stove. Meanwhile, the front seat of the car has become my little "office" for now, filled with all sorts of school registration papers and library schedules and YMCA application information, it's the only small corner of my life that has any order to it at all. But you know what? That's completely okay by me--adventures are meant to be lived, not just endured.

(not that these guys seem to need reminding--they love coming home from school to go jump into "their" swimming pool)

Which leads me to one more little event for the month. Aaron and I celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary this month! We didn't do anything super-fancy (although if you think about it, moving to a new place and getting a new house are pretty fancy!), but we did get to go to a lovely open-house for the new faculty of fine arts (i.e. Aaron) that night. It was fun to dress up a little and meet the people Aaron will be working with, as well as people from the city arts community. Mainly, it was good to be together--just the two of us--for the first time in what seems like forever, to appreciate each other and the series of adventures that we've shared. Life has been so much more interesting lived together, and it's lovely and exciting to look ahead to the many more adventures that await us! I love you, Aaron!